


Fantasy

by missanthr0pocene



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Other, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missanthr0pocene/pseuds/missanthr0pocene
Summary: a great start to new beginnings.
Relationships: Chris Hartley & Josh Washington, Chris Hartley/Josh Washington
Kudos: 7





	Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Listened to Fantasy by Dye and I thought of them and I cried and then I wrote this lolz  
> I always write ab them cuz I ,,,, have thoughts

He returned to familiar suburban estates with green lawns. It felt wrong, all types of wrong. Everyone in this neighborhood was perfectly fine, mentally sound and nothing happened to them. Josh returned from the hospital and the worst night of his life, the worst night of his friends’ lives. All because of him. Josh sighed on his bed, the fan whirring, the blues, and dark sheets of his bed.

There, on his bed, was the stuffed manatee plush that Chris won for him. Sam would argue that they were definitely pining after each other. And that was the gayest they’ve ever done. Josh crawled towards it, tears already dropping down his cheeks and he curled up on his side. He buried his face into the plushie.

Josh was alone. He was truly alone. There was no one to text. No one was going to text either. He couldn’t show up to a school campus and expect Sam to be there, or Chris, or Ash. Josh isolated himself, and nobody was going to forgive him. He didn’t expect them to anyway. Josh hugged the stuffed animal even harder, crying harder than he hugged and closed his eyes.

He woke up in the evening, sleeping for longer than he ever had. About 17 hours. There was a bag on his computer desk. Josh got up slowly and stretched, walking towards it. He moved back the smooth transparent paper, and inside was his phone, watch, the pins from the remembrance board he made for Hannah and Beth, and the music box. Guess Mom and Dad took the rest.

Josh walked downstairs to see his parents, talking quietly in the kitchen, unaware of his presence. Dad was cooking, Mom was reading an article on her MacBook Air; it was about the incident on the mountain. Josh felt like crying again, and like an idiot because he was still living with his parents. But after this, especially, they weren’t going to be confident in letting him live alone. Josh returned back to his room, sliding between the sheets as he turned on the TV.

It played whatever was on, Josh didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. He just wanted to die. Filled with eternal dread and the depression was going to eat him alive.

Mom walked in. Josh smelled her perfume. She began to rub his arm.

“Dad’s gonna drop you off at therapy.” She said, voice soft spoken. “Do you want to reschedule or anything?” She asked.

Josh was silent. He didn’t want to go, but he knew he had problems, with no solutions. Questions without answers, that only doctors had. Josh didn’t like doctors very much. Past ones only shut down his experiences, and he never got clear answers. Dr. Hill was okay. He made Josh think deep sometimes, helped him feel somewhat better but Josh just wanted to know ‘what was wrong’ with him and treat it, not play mind games.

“Okay.” He said. Josh had already been to the psych ward, just a week ago. But he hardly remembered it. He spent half of his stay in a catatonic state, with voices yelling at him to stay still or everyone would die. Then he returned home and felt just as horrible as before.

The clouds seemed just as sad, Josh saw it from the car window. Buildings and people blurred from static motion to the therapy office. Josh was dropped off just outside the door, and his head was full, and it even felt like it was filled with cement. 

Josh only talked about his thoughts on the treatment, because he was asked. He didn’t want to talk about the nightmares, the voices or the hallucinations, it would give him a headache. Like staring at brightness for too long. They’d diagnosed him with schizophrenia, and Dr. Hill said that Josh’s previous diagnosis was incorrect. They put him on clozapine, and paired with one antidepressant.

The ride back home wasn’t any different from the ride to the office. Josh just wanted to lay in bed, he wanted to sleep forever. He hugged the manatee plush when he got in bed.

Josh woke up to a knock on his door. It was the evening again, sunset at 6pm and the door opened.

“Joshua, you have a visitor.” It sounded too much like the nurses at the hospital, but it was his mother. Clad in a shawl and long gown, like she had been somewhere. Josh shuffled off his blankets. He didn’t know who it could be.

Mom was smiling. So that meant she expected that Josh should be too, but he was nervous. He slowly got out of bed, pulling on a black cardigan and tight jeans. He went down the stairs, seeing the closed front door, making him all the more anxious.

Josh opened it, and he saw someone who was the last person he expected. It was Chris, wearing a dark jacket, baggy denim jeans and holding a thick envelope. He didn’t know what to say.

“Hey.” Chris said first.

Josh blinked, swallowed, and held the door tightly. “Hi.” He said after a while. 

“Um. I tried texting you earlier. But you didn’t reply, so I just thought I’d come here.” Chris spoke, looking down at the wood floors of the porch. “I couldn’t think of what to say or to uh, talk about.” He gradually moved his hand, the one that held the envelope. Josh took it. “You can open it.” Chris said nervously.

Josh unfolded it, a bit scared. It ended up not being scary though. It was a letter, and multiple other, albeit old and aged, letters with it. There were some trinkets, but Josh took out the letter first. It was folded in half, and he unraveled it. It was very long, but heartfelt, with shaky handwriting. Josh read it carefully, yet quickly. The other old letter was one that he recognized from elementary school.

He smiled at Chris’s childish handwriting from back then, detailing all about how he didn’t care if Josh couldn’t speak English well, and how he wanted to be his best friend forever. Josh felt his eyes sting. He peeked inside to the trinkets inside. Melted army figurines, keychains and clay toys. All from their childhood. 

The paper folded against Josh’s palm, on top of the envelope. He felt his lip quiver, and the tears began to prick his eyes. Josh took a step forward, and wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck, the other’s hands grabbing Josh’s waist. 

“Thank you.” Josh whispered.

They were walking around the expanse of the Washington garden.

“Oh my god,” Josh pulled out a familiar golden necklace. “You kept my necklace?” It was his hamsa necklace from ages ago. He smiled fondly. “I haven’t seen this in forever.”

Chris chuckled. “You left it at my house, and I’d always forget to tell you.” He said. Josh hooked it around his neck. He saw the clay furniture he and Chris made in their elementary art class in 4th grade. “I’m surprised those weren’t broken.”

Josh laughed. “Mine looks so ugly.” He held up the uneven clay chair. He took out the Pikachu keychain. “I remember you got me this for my birthday.”

“Yeah, and you left it again.”

Josh sighed, but he just couldn’t stop smiling. “I left a lot of things, my god.” He said. They stopped at the rose garden his mom grew. Josh pulled Chris into a hug, a tight hug that had love, affection, and everything in between packaged in it. He pulled away just enough to rest his head on Chris’s shoulder, looking at the envelope that he held between them.

“I love you.” Josh said, which wasn’t something he said first. 

“I love you too.”

Josh stared at the envelope. “I didn’t think that you’d… you’d come back.”

Chris sighed. “Listen, I don’t fully blame you for what happened back there. And I don’t want you to blame yourself for it all.”

Josh didn’t say anything back.

“I know how I feel about it, and I think you do too, but I wrote that letter like 12 years ago. I don’t wanna stop being friends. I said it then, I’ll say it now.” Josh glanced up at him. Chris put his hands in his pockets. “If you wanna talk about it, we can.”

Josh didn’t know how Chris remained so calm. He had like 5 panic attacks in the past week because of this. He can’t say Chris hadn’t though, they haven't talked in a month, and even on the mountain, Josh saw him rarely, in a friend light.

“It’s still recent, I… I don’t want to think about it.” Josh said, “don’t you feel the same? I hurt you the most and-and you just come back?”

Chris’s eyes drifted idly around the garden. “As much as it tore at me, it made me think. I thought about what you did, and how you acted-“ Josh stiffened. Chris noticed. “I just understand it better now. The monsters? That I’ll never understand, I don’t even wanna think about that.”

Josh hugged him, and didn’t speak.

“I thought about you. Not necessarily  _ everything _ you did. Just you.” 

He didn’t have anything funny to add, no jokes or one word quips came to mind. 

“I don’t wanna think about the traps or anything like that. Not in detail, at least. It’s still pretty fresh.” Chris clarified. “I guess I just thought logically about it, after my head was cleared.”

Josh scoffed. “Why would you think about me at all?” He asked.

“Because I knew what you had gone through, man. It’s not like anyone can just bounce back from that.” Chris said. “I knew you were grieving, and I know the extent it can go to- well, maybe not  _ this _ far but I didn’t hate you for that.”

Josh sighed. “I’m sorry. For what I did.”

“And I forgive you. It took a while for me to… think that.”

“I get it.”

Chris hugged him back. “I’m not angry. I was. But I’m not anymore.”

Josh was about to make a protest.

“Dude no. I know what you’re gonna say.” Chris stopped him, and he chuckled. “You need to give yourself some slack, man.”

Josh felt like crying. He rested his forehead against Chris’s shoulder. “Yeah I know, I’m sorry, I.. I’m trying.” 

“Don’t apologize.”

“Oh. Sorry-“ Josh stopped himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh my god.” Chris laughed. “Can we go back inside?” Josh took his hand, and felt Chris lock their fingers.

Apparently, Mom and Dad left. Josh didn’t know they were, but he felt like Mom knew about this whole thing. He was kind of glad they left, it gave him and Chris some time alone. Some time to talk and just be.

They did talk more too. Slowly, calmly over coffee. Josh cried a lot. Like, so much. Chris didn’t at all. Josh felt like a loser, but Chris was a great comfort, despite not really getting  _ this _ emotional at all. 

When Josh checked the time, it was 8 pm. 2 hours, sitting in the living room together. Chris announced his leave, and Josh was a little sad. They said bye at the front door.

“I’ll text you tonight.”

Josh smiled. “Okay. I’ll respond this time.”

“Wow, Josh responding? Insane.”

He scoffed. “Whatever.” Chris was about to turn, and go back down the porch stairs, “wait.” Josh blurted, and he just wanted one last hug. So he did. “I love you.” Josh said.

Chris looked down at him, “I love you too. Always.” He said.

Josh looked down, at Chris’s shirt, as he contemplated. He pulled himself up slightly by Chris’s shoulders, kissing his cheek. “I’ll see you.” Josh said quietly. He chuckled when he saw the blond’s cheeks get incredibly red. Josh waved, and went back inside. He shut the door and pressed his back against it. He smiled to himself.

chris: ur slick

josh: hiii

chris: rolling eyes

josh: the most affectionate i’ve ever been

chris: ya what’s up w that 🤔

josh: stfuuu

It was like regular times and okay, things weren’t going to be perfect, Josh knew that. But it was a great fucking start. 


End file.
